Bob Baker and Pooki Lee share great tips on how to keep your sanity during the holiday season. Whether you are happy or sad, survive and thrive during the season. (c) 2022 Bob Baker and Pooki Lee. Includes holidays, tips, Christmas, sanity, holiday madness, advice, wellness, mental, health, tips for the holidays, how to get organized for the holidays, joy in life
#Sanity #Holidays #Christmas #Winter #HolidaySeason
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So Pookie you know what the topic is I Do I do Bob it’s all about the holidays How to serve not only survive yes but How to thrive during the holidays that’s Right and uh so this is a big Topic in Fact we are you know we’re on the cusp Is it well we’re at the beginning of the Holiday season we’ve just passed Thanksgiving the Christmas season is Right ahead and it’s kind of like I know It’s one of your favorite things it’s Kind of like the the morning after a Snowfall when there’s snow on the ground No Footprints or anything it’s oh it’s Clear it’s just Virgin Territory Absolutely beautiful it’s pristine Untouched that’s right right and here we Are getting ready to dive into the Flurry of holiday festivities and the Snow is often white kind of like a blank Canvas or a blank page so yes we are It’s still not is there’s an opportunity To write this story to to paint this Picture right yeah we can start right Here at the end of November just Beginning to as we begin to embark on Our holiday Adventure we can think about How it is that we’re going to experience This holiday in a way that supports us Exactly and we’re going to divide this Into two categories because uh we’re Well aware that different people respond To the holidays in different ways Um I tend to get excited about them I
Have warm fuzzy memories I enjoy the Holidays and even the repetitive Christmas music and and the whole Spirit Of hanging out with friends and greeting Each other that’s very appealing to me So I’m in that category are you do you Mostly fall into that yes I do I do Enjoy the holidays I love the Festivities I love the um you know like The peace on Earth Goodwill toward men You know these are things that you know Like I hold in my heart all year long But like it’s so amazing to see everyone Else kind of holding that too where we Just bring this this this Um sharing and caring about one another And and gift giving right like forgiving And we’re receiving and there’s so many Amazing things that happen at this time Of the year right you know there are Also Um There are also years you know where it Might be a little bit difficult and Maybe for you that’s what that’s what You’re experiencing right now is a year Where you’re being challenged right like Maybe Christmas has changed for you this Year maybe Um you know someone that you love very Much isn’t going to be with you this Year for Christmas right either by Distance or by uh being on the other Side of the veil as they say yeah yeah
Or or maybe some things have changed for You you know or maybe every year it just Brings up a lot of people are getting More sad uh during that during the Holiday so when we acknowledge this full Range so we’re going to be hitting this From two different angles basically First we’re gonna be talking about if You’re if the holidays are positive how To survive and maintain your balance and All that um and then we’ll talk about The uh if it’s not an uplifting time of The year and how and how to make the Best of that type of situation so let’s Jump into the excited one okay Um so I know some people who uh are uh Really like the holidays can kind of go All in Um Out Um and so one one tip here to make the Best of it is moderation pace yourself You know you may want to attend all the Parties and we’re you know coming out of Covid and so people are really excited About that social interaction Um and so whoops I think I accidentally Hit something here let me get rid of That Hang on a second Um Siri got activated because I think I Hit my my keyboard there Um I’m obviously on a Mac uh but yeah so You need to pace yourself right uh and
So that you don’t over extend it so Gauge your level of enthusiasm are you Packing your schedule with too many Things Are you trying are you overdoing it Which you couldn’t lead to burnout right Yeah absolutely too many parties too Much time not enough planning you know So there’s so many things that you can Do to really support yourself during This time of the year right one of the Things is like I think about all these People that just go all out like they Have the outrageous outdoor decorations And they have the big tree and you know All the presents and everything is just Like kind of going overboard now there’s Some people in my family who do that Yeah we have a they get really stressed Out by it yeah you know like like they Wait till the last minute to wrap all The presents and stuff like that guilty So then you know Christian Christmas Eve We’re sitting there wrapping presents Until like two o’clock in the morning And yeah and so it’s just like there’s So many things that you can do to just Kind of pace yourself take it easy plan Ahead you know um wrap your gifts as you Purchase them right just set up a little Wrapping station in your house where It’s already all the ribbons and all the Tape and and and everything is already There and you just have to bring that
That item over and wrap it up yeah and Then along with that yep that planning Ahead is breaking it’s just like any Good goal setting advice is taking a big Uh aspiration and breaking it down into Bite-sized chunks and so yeah don’t wait To the last minute to do all your stuff Do the best that you can to spread it Out over a number of weeks and break it Up into manageable steps that concludes Decorating a gift of purchasing if You’re doing that uh Gift buying uh Wrapping making plans and meet with People like sometimes you wait to the Last minute and they already have plans So you know do the best you can to do Yourself a favor and plan ahead Um here’s a good one now so sometimes The people who are excited about Christmas have warm memories about that Uh and they get attached to like this Ideal holiday situation especially if You had this like perfect Hallmark movie Kind of you know Christmas or maybe you Had a number of them years ago and That’s your ideal of what you’re Shooting for and you can easily be Disappointed pointed if your experience Doesn’t live up to that so it’s like Have realistic expectations and don’t Compare what you’re going through now to The past and rate it by comparison as Being less than you know what do you uh Yeah there’s some truth to that
Absolutely because you know things will Change you know I can remember like my Childhood there were some Christmases That were really amazing you know and Like my mother was all into decorating And all that stuff and like our tree was A big deal you know and then when I Became an adult and I had my own family My tree became a really big deal and Then there was like one year where I Couldn’t have a tree and then you know It’s just like ha trying to figure out How to navigate around that so I got a Smaller tree or I just decorated my Mantle you know I did what I could to Like bring in the energy of Christmas Even though I wasn’t able to maintain This holiday tradition that we had of Pretty putting up this amazing tree with All of these ornaments you know so so You just have to find ways to like just Shift it up a little bit and when we’re Talking about Traditions one thing that You could do is you could start some new Holiday traditions I like that family You know like Um when I was little we used to make Sugar cookies right and we decorate them With the frosting and all that stuff Well now if you’re a little bit more Health conscious It’s a vegan Christmas but you can you Could you could make like some banana Bread or some other things or or string
Popcorn and put that on your treat just Other things that you could do building Other Traditions so what is it that You’re that you care about in the Holiday season and how can you bring Some sort of like tradition into that uh Into the holiday spirit and I like that Starting New Traditions that you’ll be That will be good memories in the future But along with that being realistic a Lot of times it has to do with people Like especially if you have warm Memories of when like everyone was Available they all came over to the House this one year or maybe multiple Years and now that’s not the case people Moved they’re busy they have families And so you’re attached to this uh this This memory of the past uh but the Danger here is that you’re putting your Happiness in the hands of other people’s Decisions and other people’s behavior And when you do that you can never win That you’ll always be disappointed yeah Always so beware when you find yourself Being attached to decisions that other People are making I mean I know it can Be disappointing we’re just talking to a Friend today that he’s not able to see His grandkids during the holidays Because of some family strife and they Always want them to come over to their Place and never to his and and and so Yeah I know it can be a little difficult
But do your best to find a way to enjoy The holidays the best you can without Relying on other people to do certain Things for you very certain specific Ways yeah have that be attached to your Joy because that’s yeah uh then a couple Other things that’s not easy though oh This is not it’s not easy at all he’s Just said than done that’s that’s for Sure it’s okay to say no just again if Your calendar is being uh is booked up Uh people are inviting you to parties or Whatever and asking you to just do Something you go you know thanks for the The invitation but I’m gonna I’m not Gonna be able to do that I won’t be able To help you because I’m putting my Priority on other things this holiday Season and then maintain healthy habits Not just eating habits which is a big One we’re all distracted by the goodies At Christmas time oh my goodness but Don’t get away from your whatever it is Your meditation practice your uh workout Routine Um affirmations you want to keep doing Those in your in your healthy eating Guidelines right yeah absolutely just Pay attention you know not that you Wouldn’t give to yourself and not that You would enjoy the holidays and have Fun but like think of everything in like Moderation right and so just not going Too overboard one way or the other
And here’s some just general ones before We shift over into the uh maybe with Christmas not being so pleasant Um just having a tolerance of family Members Um you know that’s often a cause of Strife for a lot of people you’re going To get together with Uncle so and so and His religious or political beliefs don’t Gel with mine and it’s going to be Friction and just just to accept that That’s what you just you already know That about them just accept that that’s What’s going to be love them as best you Can there’s a note here be the Switzerland of the family stay neutral Don’t get involved in these wars you can Just be the silent Observer right you Don’t have to engage especially you know Especially like in a gathering where you Have family members and and you know There’s so much going on in the world It’s it’s possible that something could Bubble Up out of somebody’s mouth Hopefully it’s not yours but something Could show up and and you know you can Take that moment to just take a deep Breath just breathe in and just a lot Just release and be the Observer be the The Silent Witness Um in this moment as to not like Um agitate the situation or you know Kind of right bring some energy into the Room that you don’t want to you know you
Just definitely don’t want to have Conflicts at family gatherings and and You know there’s such a potential for it Because you know it’s like the one time Of the year where all where your family Will gather and so maybe you haven’t Seen them all a year maybe you haven’t Seen them since last Christmas and you Don’t really know you know what’s going On in their life because some of these Big family gatherings are just like that And you know like and somebody might say Something you know that right just it Doesn’t sit right with you you know you Can choose in that moment to just kind Of Just kind of bow and acknowledging that That is who that person is and that they Get to be that way they do they get to I Know it’s crazy sometimes and just allow Yourself to step back from it and not Engage in it so that you know you don’t Have a you don’t have a story about this Christmas that involves you and another Person Not getting a longer Switzerland yeah they enjoy that’s right Right everything if you’re confident in Who you are just in your in your and you Stay centered as I like to say Um then you will be better off yeah they Enjoy and just realize too like they’re Think about it like this because I’ve Often thought like there is is this
Worth me surrendering my joy for Um that’s a great question is this worth It it’s getting involved in this Conversation worth me surrendering my Joy Yeah probably not probably not you know So how is it that you want to feel In these environments how do you want to Feel And then and then operate from that Place of being activate that feeling Within your body something shows up That’s that’s in conflict with how you Want to feel Let It Go just move on past It exactly I think some of those tips Will apply to this next thing we’re Going to shift into for folks who again Uh maybe in general the holidays are not The happiest time for a variety of Reasons I know a few people here’s some Quick tips here for that one one is Throw guilt out the window so don’t feel Bad about feeling bad during the Holidays give yourself permission to Feel that way and have a sense of the Same way that you’re going to accept Uncle Frank or whatever it is accept Yourself as well and maybe know that These this might come up Um not that you uh yeah do you want to Anticipate it Um but acknowledge that I felt this way In the past so it may come up when it Does you’re not rise but he’s be
Accepting of it give yourself some Grace Yeah give yourself some great nurture Yourself during this time you know if You’re grieving if there’s grief and That’s the reason why the holidays Aren’t aren’t happy for you this year I’m allow yourself to experience that Grief you know and nurture yourself be Loving and kind to yourself find ways That you can give to yourself You know Um Go and buy you buy something for Yourself and wrap it and put it under The tree or Um loving nurturing ways like give Yourself a a bubble bath take yourself Out to dinner if you don’t feel like Being around others that’s okay too if If if you’re feeling kind of isolated You know and I just said if if you don’t Feel like being around others that’s Okay and it is but if you’re feeling Kind of isolated it might be a good idea To reach out to someone and just let Them know hey look I’m I’m just feeling Kind of alone this Christmas and maybe You could keep an eye on me or just Check in with me every every couple of Days or something just reach out to People that have conversations just that Social interaction whether you talk About your sadness or not can be Uplifting and can help release some of
That pressure valve because yeah you’re Right A lot of people who feel feel uh Sad they think they’re the only ones Everybody else is out celebrating so I’m Going to withdraw and I’m gonna I’m Gonna be in isolation but you’re not the Only one Um and just but so reach out because at That social social that contact Especially with people who you know are Going to support you and care about you That doesn’t mean you have to wallow in It and make it part of your story Although if that’s that’s helpful to get Get it out you can you know with a good Friend you can do that as well but just Talking to people communicating whether By phone zoom in person whatever it is Yeah just do your best to reach out to Others Um you can never go wrong uh we’ve Talked about this often but the Practicing gratitude you know it’s a Great time of the year just to be Thankful for so thankful the good stuff In your life even though you may feel Something’s missing or there may be a Negative well what’s the Gratitude and What’s missing yeah you know there has To be something that was really Beautiful about that whatever that is Whether it be a person a place a job Whatever it is a Time of Your Life Yeah so um just have a gratitude for
That for that which you’re grieving what Are the things that you can be grateful For in your grief and um and you know Something you know like I’ve often heard It said like when you’re really going Through a really difficult time and you Feel like Um You know like you don’t you’re not You’re not loved or supported you’re you Just don’t feel supported Um I’m not loved might be in there too But one thing that you can do is go and Give to others go volunteer go work um Go walk uh go to the homeless and there Were there’s a homeless Center here in St Louis and on Thursday nights you can Meet meet with people at seven o’clock And you can go and visit the homeless Camps and bring blankets and things like That so if you’re feeling really sad This holiday season it’s about maybe Doing some something really beautiful And wonderful and good for another and You know what believe it or not there’s Something that happens when we give in That way when we give our hearts and we Volunteer and we show up for people who Are less fortunate than we are something Happens for us in a really deep level You know and it changes us and so Um you know we’ve I’ve often I’ve often Told people when they need help If you really need help go help somebody
Yeah you know it’s the best way to lift Yourself up too Um let’s see here yeah pamper yourself Uh the self self-care is so important Um nurture yourself give yourself a lot Of uh Grace Um sometimes people are sad because they Feel you know there’s a Commercialization with music with music Commercialization of uh the holidays and Uh people don’t like that that’s all About buying stuff and and they and if You’re short on money you go I don’t Want to go to that parties I don’t I Don’t have I can’t afford a gift or I’m You know I can’t participate in that Gift giving thing and I don’t want to Stand out and blah blah blah well There’s many different ways of giving Gifts uh you can well you can hand make Something you know something that’s a Unique creation that would be special Meaningful to somebody that you’re Giving it to yeah beautiful cards made For us when we were in Florida oh yeah Beautiful handmade cards that had our Name and they were kind of like doodly You know and um it was just something Simple like that Um how about all kinds of things you can Make you know what’s really important Too you know what’s better than money oh My gosh time yeah Time right so there were many years that
I didn’t have money to do Christmas and So I would I would create dates with People you know I would say this I’d Make little like coupons like this Ticket is good for a a lunch date with Pookie you know at my house you know and So that I could make them lunch or Something like that and they could come And they could visit or we could it was Good for a date in the park or at the Botanical Garden or something like that Or going to the movies or just something Like that something that you could do With them where you’re sharing time Rather than buying something and giving You know like for me like the Commercialization of Christmas is it Just doesn’t it hasn’t sat well with me For a very long time people get into a Lot of debt for no good reason you know And And really there’s so much more that we Have that we can give to each other We’re held within our own being like our Time our heart our compassion our care And so like as you’re as you’re looking At that Christmas list and you’re Looking down the names of all those People think about when was the last Time that you spent time with that Person when was the last time that you Spent time with that person right can You think of maybe some some things that You might be able to do gifts of time
Creating experiences are so much more Valuable to me I have I have an Abundance of things Right so I don’t need any more things You know Bob and I went to the store the Other day and bought him a couple of Shirts Just nothing you know so it’s just like But to go and spend time with him to Have a date with him and to go out and Have dinner and see a show that would be Like amazing to me you know so think About what what are some of the other Things that you could do that don’t Necessarily involve money and I think That those are the most cherished ones Of all you know I have all of my Handmade gifts that have been given to Me all my little scarves and and mittens And booties and all kinds of things Right and I I can I remember who gave These things to me and how they were Made and you know and and it means Something it means so much more so Believe me if you’re struggling with Money right now and a lot of people are Things have gotten pretty pricey these Days Know that you are enough that who you Are is enough during this holiday season And if you have children and you know You want to give give to them and you’re Not able to first off they already know That they know that the money’s not
There you know to have an outrageous Christmas but you can do things with Them or for them like pajama party Nights sit down and do cartoon binges And things like there’s all kinds of Things that you can do to get really Creative in your giving and letting I Mean because we give gifts to people Because we want to let them know that They matter to us right you’re you mean Something to me I want to give this Thing to you yeah it’s so much better When we’re actually giving something of Ourselves and telling someone that they Matter and it’s it’s I prefer it over Store-bought gifts and things like that So much more you know Bob knows yes you Do uh this is a great great stuff we’re Going to wrap this up because why we’re Already like 21 or 22 minutes time flies Just uh one more quick thing this kind Of relates to same thing we the advice That we had for the people that were Excited is that quite often sometimes What your sadness is attached to a Memory of the past or something the way Way something something used to be That’s no longer that way or it could be Attached to a negative memory that you Keep on playing over and over again Every holiday season reminds you of that Bad thing that happened Um but so stop or focus on today focus On starting New Traditions new happy
Memories that that will be memories in The future uh and try to detach from the Past you know start a new thing for it For you for your for yourself and just Uh keep stop that that movie from Endlessly playing the one that’s not Serving you that’s not entertaining you Know it’s not making you smile Robbing you of your joy and just start Playing a new movie because you’re the In your mind you are the director of Whatever you want to create oh my gosh That’s so true isn’t that beautiful so So write a new movie with a Hallmark Ending Or whatever it’s your story you get to Write it however you want you need to Feel however you want to feel in it too That’s right so we just wanted to share These tips since we’re on the cusp of This holiday season yeah so yes so uh Anyway yeah thanks for listening to to This thanks for recording it before you Headed off to the Hawaii and Japan yep And now it’s back to you Bob
